But what if

But, what if


the only choice for me


is not to choose


because there's nothing scarier


and riskier


than the choice we have made


earlier.

The Godbrewer

Hai, blog! Sudah lama sekali, ya, terakhir kali aku bercerita. Belakangan isi postingannya mayoritas pemikiran-pemikiran random, bukan update-an hidup akhir-akhir ini.

Hmmm... Mulai dari mana, ya? Intinya, melihat ke belakang, banyak sekali yang berubah dalam hidupku. Super banyak. Beberapa adalah kemajuan, dan beberapa lainnya kemunduran. Well....... Aku harus akui itu, kan?

Tahun 2015 ini, aku dan Ibnu sangat disibukkan oleh coffee shop yang kami dirikan. Dari mulai sebuah gerobak sederhana pada tahun lalu, sekarang, Alhamdulillah, meningkat menjadi sebuah cafe di daerah Cipinang, Jakarta Timur. Kalau harus diceritakan, banyak sekali tenaga, waktu, pikiran, dan uang yang dikorbankan untuk ini. Dari yang tadinya bisa jalan-jalan di Mal dua kali seminggu untuk nonton film terbaru dan makan di cafe-cafe kapitalis mahal tapi enak, sekarang harus puas dengan jalan-jalan sebentar sekali dua minggu, dan makan di warteg sekitar coffee shop kami. Dari yang sebelumnya secara impulsif bisa mendadak berlibur ke luar kota, atau bangun sesiang mungkin, sekarang untuk tidur saja setiap harinya kurang dari 6 jam. Dari yang setiap tanggal 15 mengucapkan happy monthversarry dan merayakan kecil-kecilan dengan melakukan beberapa hal seru, sekarang ingat saja sudah syukur. Ya, begitulah.

Belum lagi perdebatan-perdebatan dari kecil hingga besar yang menyambut kami setiap harinya, setelah berlelah-lelah seharian melayani pelanggan. Percayalah, melakoni bisnis sebesar ini, diusia seperti ini, adalah hal yang cukup membuat gila. Tapi, banyak sekali pelajaran baru yang kami dapatkan setiap harinya. Semakin kesini, aku semakin banyak tahu sisi menarik dari secangkir kopi. Semakin hari, kami semakin paham cara-cara menjalankan bisnis yang baik dan semua pengalaman itu rasanya luar biasa menyenangkan.

 Aku tidak pernah mengatakan ini mudah, tapi ini sepadan. Semua hal yang kami berdua lakukan dan korbankan, begitu setimpal dengan apa yang kami dapatkan. Perlahan, The Godbrewer mulai mendapatkan tempat di hati pelanggan. Dari awal kali buka pada bulan Juni lalu, sudah ada beberapa perkembangan meskipun perlahan. Interior design yang mulai terlihat semakin mantap, pilihan menu yang semakin variatif, dan fasilitas-fasilitas lain seperti wi-fi, televisi untuk nobar, dan yang lainnya yang akan segera menyusul.

Menjalankan bisnis itu hampir seperti melakukan permainan judi. Kita memiliki hak penuh untuk melakukan langkah apapun yang kita inginkan, tapi kendali dari siapapun. Terkadang, kalau sudah paham betul taktiknya, memenangkan judi tersebut adalah hal yang mudah. Namun tak peduli seberapa hebatnya kamu dalam bermain, tetap saja akan ada faktor x yang berpotensi meraup semua uangmu.  Disini aku dan Ibnu memutuskan untuk benar-benar bekerja keras dan menyerahkan semua hasilnya pada Tuhan. Untuk menyederhanakannya, saat ini pengalaman yang kami miliki merupakan harta tidak ternilai yang pernah kami dapatkan.

First day of opening

Behind the Bar

Outdoor Room

The Latte

Us :)

Keeping Up with the Commitment

Life is about choosing.

From now on, I choose to be more careful.

I need to be wiser when it comes to tying myself in a serious commitment; friendship bond, job, romantic relationship, career path, future, etc.

I am a kind of person whose head ALWAYS full of something new, something else, everything. I even sometime think a little bit too much it makes me dizzy. And in almost everyday, I want to be something new; Something different than yesterday. It's really weird, huh??? And I guess not everyone would be able to understand this, since they don't walk on my shoes. Please at least realize this, people. It's hard, it's REALLY hard to keep yourself to one particular thing when you have literally the whole world in your brain. Therefore, I must admit that it's difficult for me to fully focus on something for a quite long time. Ergo, it's harder to have a favorite when you can't even keep up with it longer than a second.

So, with that kind of trait, I'm afraid I will waste a lot of beneficial commitment just for the sake of something useless to trade for. I'm afraid I can't hold myself from quitting the present only to picking up a shameful future. I'm afraid, all my thoughtless decision will end up kick me in the ass as I have no other chance to make it up anymore.

I'm afraid that I'm gonna be too old to change the habit.

So, from today on, I promise to myself that I will choose more carefully. I will only dare to step into a commitment when there is zero doubt that lingers in my brain and heart and soul about the related stuff.

I promise to comprehend the concept of commitment; opportunity cost. 

Epiphany

There are billions of people living on earth nowadays, doing their own things and managing their own feelings. Being your own self might be really hard under the society or peer pressure that blows everyone minds. But it is way much better than trying too hard to be somebody else you're not just because you think it's the right one to do to get what you want. That's simply pathetic, you know.

 

Being yourself is the most comfortable action you can do. It's hard at first, but you'll thank yourself later :)

Hello, future me!

Hello again, future me. I wrote for you once some time ago, and I want to write this again for you.

Its just that the idea of you reading this in some random places I couldn't imagine brings a little excitement in me. 

At first, I hope you're doing well right now. I hope you already lost weights a long time ago because mine right now is totally embarrassing. I'm weighted around 55 kg and that's pretty not okay since most of my clothes are given up on me already. But no seriously, this weight gain issue is a little bit annoying these days for me, as almost every person I know who sees me will be like "omg why are you getting so fat now" as they rolls their eyes up and down observing me. That's just quiet frustrating and hell people ugh.

I'm sorrrrry for being a little whiny bitch right now for telling you this unnecessary fat issue while actually I have a lot of bigger issue right now.

Me, currently, is in the middle of finishing my thesis and it sucks to see that my progress is very low. It's sucker to see that my other friends are done with the thesis and they can enjoy life to the fullest now. While I'm here dealing with my silly fat and play with it sometimes just to cure my broken heart.

Whatever it is, I hope my thesis will be done in the quickest time possible, because I really almost fed up on these stuffs.

Well actually I still have another problem, but yeah you just dont have to know. 

I really, really hope you're doing well right now. I hope you already have all the things that you wanted to have when you're my age. I hope you're surrounded by lovable and trustworthy people around you and that you are able to be one to them too. 

I hope you have a great and full of happiness kind of life.

See you in my next writing :)